{"id":112,"date":"2012-08-25T06:27:31","date_gmt":"2012-08-25T06:27:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bbs.studio-revolution.net\/magazine\/?p=112"},"modified":"2012-08-25T06:27:31","modified_gmt":"2012-08-25T06:27:31","slug":"wyatts-ads","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?p=112","title":{"rendered":"Wyatt’s Ads"},"content":{"rendered":"

What, you thought stuff this bad came free? Well you were wrong!<\/strong> In order to afford a regular meal for Wyatt and pay some medical bills after our conspiracist attacked a school, we’re running a few ads.
\n
\nLOST
\n<\/strong><\/span>
\nOne Pok\u00e9ball, has Palkia inside it. Fell off the cliff after catching the Pok\u00e9mon. Please return to Hearthome City.<\/p>\n

One Father, probably a really good trainer, most likely black hair, clueless about women or other people in general. If you know someone who fits this description, please contact Ash Ketchum.<\/p>\n

Blue-haired girl. Hails from New Bark Town, and has a Johto starter Pokemon. Please call Game Freak if found or suitable replacement exists.<\/p>\n

Coffee. All the coffee. Contact the Coffee Guy.<\/p>\n

A Key Card to a completely unimportant place. If found, please bring to the Galactic Grunt fidgeting nervously in Eterna.<\/p>\n

FOUND<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/strong>A Pok\u00e9mon egg at the Daycare. No idea how it got there. Owner may inquire for the egg from the Daycare Lady.<\/p>\n

A Pok\u00e9ball with a Full Heal inside it. Not sure if an actual Full Heal or a new kind of Pok\u00e9mon. Owner may inquire at Floaroma Town.<\/p>\n

Piece of shiny rock. Might be from the Moon. Very pretty. Very, very <\/em>pretty. Much too pretty…<\/p>\n

FOR SALE<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Various Pok\u00e9mon eggs! No owners, completely legal business! Contact Daycare Man for more info!<\/p>\n

Weird plastic discs I found with a hole in the middle. No idea what they do but they look nice. Available in various colors for some reason. If interested, contact Clueless Old Guy on Route 16.<\/p>\n


\nBUYING<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

All Zubat, Rattata, and Koffing you can get us. Will pay well! Contact Team Rocket HQ. Please don’t be alarmed by the windowless room with a door that can only be opened on the outside.<\/p>\n

A Ditto to a good home. Guaranteed to not be subjected to questionable things, honest! Contact the trainer standing in front of the Daycare.<\/p>\n

Master Balls by the bulk. As many as you can sell! Also accepting other implements you can use for catching legendaries. Get a quote from your nearest Team Galactic representative.<\/p>\n

HIRING<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Goons to steal Zubat, Rattata, and Koffing from unwitting customers. No battle experience needed. Owning Zubat, Rattata, or Koffing considered an asset. Enquire at the Team Rocket HQ.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What, you thought stuff this bad came free? Well you were wrong! In order to afford a regular meal for Wyatt and pay some medical bills after our conspiracist attacked a school, we’re running a few ads.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-wyatts-ads"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3SwsJ-1O","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":389,"url":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?p=389","url_meta":{"origin":112,"position":0},"title":"Forum Events & Achievement System!","author":"bobandbill","date":"August 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Yes, a short advertisement! The BBS Forums are currently running a posting blitz, coupled with a number of events to be held over the next week, such as a game of Mafia (kill or be killed), writing prompts, and wifi battling. Also a thread just for CAPSLOCK AND GIFS. Why\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Wyatt's Ads"","block_context":{"text":"Wyatt's Ads","link":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?cat=25"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42,"url":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?p=42","url_meta":{"origin":112,"position":1},"title":"The Coffee Guy’s Rants: Too Many Pokeballs","author":"bobandbill","date":"May 21, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"THAT'S RIGHT, YOU HEARD ME. THERE'S TOO MANY OF THESE DARN BALLS ABOUT TODAY! FIRSTLY, WHAT THE HECK HAS GONE WRONG WITH SOCIETY THAT YOU NEED ALL THESE KINDS OF BALLS THAT DO THE SAME DARN THING ANYWAY BUT WITH A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT COLOUR AND A FAR HIGHER PRICE TAG?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Coffee Guy Rant"","block_context":{"text":"Coffee Guy Rant","link":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?cat=224"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cdn.bulbagarden.net\/media\/upload\/thumb\/2\/25\/Oldman2.png\/120px-Oldman2.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":160,"url":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?p=160","url_meta":{"origin":112,"position":2},"title":"The Coffee Guy’s Rants: Lazy Trainers","author":"bobandbill","date":"April 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY KETTLES MY GOLDEEN? TRAINERS THESE DAYS NOT DOING THINGS THE RIGHT WAY! JUST LOOK AT THESE WHIPPERSNAPPERS THESE DAYS. YOU EVER SEE A GOOD OLD FASHIONED POK\u00c9MON BATTLE DONE FOR THE SAKE OF GRINDING? YOU\u2019LL BE LUCKY TO NOW! INSTEAD OF MAKING THEIR POK\u00c9MON FIGHT EACH\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Coffee Guy Rant"","block_context":{"text":"Coffee Guy Rant","link":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?cat=224"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cdn.bulbagarden.net\/media\/upload\/thumb\/2\/25\/Oldman2.png\/120px-Oldman2.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":404,"url":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?p=404","url_meta":{"origin":112,"position":3},"title":"The Coffee Guy\u2019s Rants: Remakes, Get Off My Lawn","author":"bobandbill","date":"October 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Cover your ears, for the famed Coffee Guy from Viridian City has a rant to share! BY GUM, I SAY THERE'S TOO MANY OF THESE REMAKES THESE DAYS! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY, BUT IT SEEMS WE'RE TO REVISIT THIS HOENN PLACE AGAIN! AND I FOR ONE COULD NOT BE MORE\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Coffee Guy Rant"","block_context":{"text":"Coffee Guy Rant","link":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?cat=224"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":426,"url":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?p=426","url_meta":{"origin":112,"position":4},"title":"Top Five Silliest NPC Roadblocks","author":"bobandbill","date":"December 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The Pok\u00e9mon games are full of NPC roadblocks. These are cases when a non-playable character will stand in your way, preventing you from continuing until you complete a different objective. For example, every game has at least one person standing by the entrance to the next route who won\u2019t let\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Articles"","block_context":{"text":"Articles","link":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"[Image: Ruby-Sapphire_Oldale_Town_2.png]","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img3.wikia.nocookie.net\/__cb20090824090908\/pokemon\/images\/c\/cc\/Ruby-Sapphire_Oldale_Town_2.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":342,"url":"https:\/\/bbs.thecoldstorage.uk\/magazine\/?p=342","url_meta":{"origin":112,"position":5},"title":"Pok\u00e9mon Places: Mt. Pyre","author":"bobandbill","date":"April 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Through the generations we have traveled, we've found interesting places. Of course, breathtaking sights and treacherous passes are common in and around the regions. But 'interesting' includes other stuff. Stuff that frightens you, stuff that brings you sorrow. And one such place to take into consideration is Mt. 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