The BBS Magazine

This is Scientist Richard for Team Snagem. I’ve been hired by the company to create some sort of “Snag Device”. Its purpose will be to steal Pokemon from other trainers, by changing a PokeBall into a SnagBall. This will be a huge technical undertaking. Since PokeBalls were invented by Kurt from Azalea Town, they’ve been designed to catch only wild Pokemon. I’ve decided to either create some sort of machine to convert PokeBalls, or  an entirely new ball. The latter option seems a much better one, as it’ll be much easier to do. I’ll just have to make a few modifications to a PokeBall, as opposed to making an entire machine. Here is a short catalogued analysis of my findings.

Report #1

Today I met my boss, the director of the project, Gonzap. I’d never met him before, as my interview was with a rather chubby man with a strange hairstyle who didn’t reveal his name. Gonzap wanted to steal Pokemon for one reason: making Shadow Pokemon. I had no idea what that meant, and when I inquired upon the subject, he informed me that a separate taskforce was working on that. He then commanded me to go get him some moustache wax. I told him that I was a scientist, not an errand boy. He then threatened me with a blade that looked like a Skarmory feather. I promptly made the voyage to Phenac City to pick up some wax.

To be fair, he REALLY needs that wax.

Report #2

I’ve done it! I’ve created an entirely new ball, the SnagBall! Here’s how it works: normally, if a trainer has a PokeBall thrown at his or her Pokemon, that trainer will just bat the ball away. The SnagBall has retracting spikes that will mangle the trainer, and will continue onward to the Pokemon, catching it! This is a monumental moment in history! There’s only one minor technical problem, and that’s changing the Snagged Pokemon’s Trainer ID, but that’s just a minor thing. I’m sure I’ll be able to fix it.

Report #3

I presented the SnagBall to Gonzap today. It was a disaster. First of all, I used spikes from my Ferrothorn. Gonzap got very upset, as he thought Skarmory feathers would be a much better choice. Then his main thief, a guy named Wes, complained about how it was, and I quote, “immoral”! We’re a criminal organization that steals Pokemon! How much more immoral can we get? Another concern of his is that the ball would malfunction and drive spikes into his hand. He obviously doesn’t know how perfect I am! Then, Gonzap brought up the point that it would be much too expensive to mass produce all of these Balls. He then ordered me to make a machine to convert regular PokeBalls. As I’ve already said, that idea did cross my mind, but the SnagBall was so much better!

Report #4

This new machine is a dead end. How am I supposed to turn a Ball that’s already been manufactured into something entirely different? I’m facing one major issue. The main reason why a PokeBall won’t catch another Trainer’s Pokemon is because they block it, right? Well, that was why I had the SnagBall in the first place! How am I supposed to make a regular Pokeball be hard to block without physically changing it!?! I’m starting to think I might have to find a new job.

Report #5

I’ve done it again! I built a mechanical looking glove. Its sole purpose is to store energy. What kind of energy, you ask? Psychic energy, that’s what! I simply made my Alakazam use a Psychic attack to charge the machine up. The energy is then transferred to the regular PokeBall, and when it’s thrown, the energy confuses the opposing trainer, making them unable to block a ball, and they don’t even realize that their Pokemon was just stolen! The energy also has a side effect that solves a problem I had before, with the original SnagBall! The Trainer ID problem has been solved, using the psychic energy. The blast of energy actually temporarily breaks the link between the Pokémon and the Pokeball, having a similar effect as a trainer releasing a the Pokemon would. Then, the SnagBall attempts to catch the Pokémon, just as a normal PokeBall would. If it’s successful, the bond between the Pokémon and the old Pokeball is broken forever. If it fails, the Pokémon’s link to the old ball would return, since the energy is only effective if the Pokemon is permanently caught. The fact that the Snag Machine uses psychic energy means any trainer with a psychic Pokemon like an Alakazam or an Espeon can simply charge it whenever it’s needed! I also have plans to build a large Snag Machine, which simply shoots large quantities of charged up PokeBalls.

And it’s stylish!

Report #6

Today’s report is a short one: I just completed the large Snag Machine, and all looks successful. I’m going to go collect my paycheque from Gonzap, and that should be the end of it.

Report #7

Today, the Team Snagem base was blown up, the large Snag Machine was broken, and the original was stolen. You know what? Screw this. I’m moving back to Hoenn to work as an electrician in Mauville.

 

 

Written by Scientist Richard Fightmaster.
Edited by bobandbill, Hoenn and Slayr231.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 27th, 2013 at 12:08 pm and is filed under Fan Works, Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.