What, you thought stuff this bad came free? Well you were wrong! In order to afford a regular meal for Wyatt and pay some medical bills after our conspiracist attacked a school, we’re running a few ads.
LOST
One Pokéball, has Palkia inside it. Fell off the cliff after catching the Pokémon. Please return to Hearthome City.
One Father, probably a really good trainer, most likely black hair, clueless about women or other people in general. If you know someone who fits this description, please contact Ash Ketchum.
Blue-haired girl. Hails from New Bark Town, and has a Johto starter Pokemon. Please call Game Freak if found or suitable replacement exists.
Coffee. All the coffee. Contact the Coffee Guy.
A Key Card to a completely unimportant place. If found, please bring to the Galactic Grunt fidgeting nervously in Eterna.
FOUND
A Pokémon egg at the Daycare. No idea how it got there. Owner may inquire for the egg from the Daycare Lady.
A Pokéball with a Full Heal inside it. Not sure if an actual Full Heal or a new kind of Pokémon. Owner may inquire at Floaroma Town.
Piece of shiny rock. Might be from the Moon. Very pretty. Very, very pretty. Much too pretty…
FOR SALE
Various Pokémon eggs! No owners, completely legal business! Contact Daycare Man for more info!
Weird plastic discs I found with a hole in the middle. No idea what they do but they look nice. Available in various colors for some reason. If interested, contact Clueless Old Guy on Route 16.
BUYING
All Zubat, Rattata, and Koffing you can get us. Will pay well! Contact Team Rocket HQ. Please don’t be alarmed by the windowless room with a door that can only be opened on the outside.
A Ditto to a good home. Guaranteed to not be subjected to questionable things, honest! Contact the trainer standing in front of the Daycare.
Master Balls by the bulk. As many as you can sell! Also accepting other implements you can use for catching legendaries. Get a quote from your nearest Team Galactic representative.
HIRING
Goons to steal Zubat, Rattata, and Koffing from unwitting customers. No battle experience needed. Owning Zubat, Rattata, or Koffing considered an asset. Enquire at the Team Rocket HQ.
