Category: Humor

Top 10 Creepiest Pokémon

When most people think of Pokémon, they usually think it’s just a kids’ game. I mean, we have all these cute little colorful critters to befriend, and then you have friendly battles with other kids with your pocket monster buddies. The more famous Pokémon are often just these kinds of Pokémon. You’ve got Pikachu, Eevee, all the adorable starter Pokémon, Jigglypuff, Mew…

Some Pokémon, of course, look a bit scarier. There’s various dragons, like Garchomp or Dialga, that look like they might actually startle you if you saw them in real life. There’s human-sized insects and other mildly unsettling design choices. But overall, it’s still a pretty friendly game. There’s nothing really scary there, right? It’s all perfectly suitable for kids.

…And then you go read the Pokédex entries for some of the perfectly nice-looking, unimposing Pokémon you’ve collected during your fantastic, happy travels, and suddenly the world isn’t such a friendly place anymore. And this isn’t just about Ghost-type Pokémon, or even just about Dark-types. There are some seriously creepy Pokémon out there, and they come in all shapes and sizes. Here is my pick of the top ten creepiest ones.
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Why doesn’t Ash age?

Whether or not you watch the anime, there is one question you’ve probably heard of or discussed and that question will be answered right now! Why doesn’t Ash age? All throughout the series Ash remains ten years old. As I dug around and asked some friends on their thoughts on the subject, I found some legitimate, funny, and just plain disturbing answers to this puzzling question.

[Image: 43_entrenadorpokemon.jpg]
Well at least his hat changed.

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The Coffee Guy’s Rants: Lazy Trainers

YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY KETTLES MY GOLDEEN? TRAINERS THESE DAYS NOT DOING THINGS THE RIGHT WAY!

JUST LOOK AT THESE WHIPPERSNAPPERS THESE DAYS. YOU EVER SEE A GOOD OLD FASHIONED POKÉMON BATTLE DONE FOR THE SAKE OF GRINDING? YOU’LL BE LUCKY TO NOW! INSTEAD OF MAKING THEIR POKÉMON FIGHT EACH OTHER TO THE NEAR DEATH OR BEYOND FOR A FEW HUNDRED EXPERIENCE POINTS, THEY JUST SHOVE THEM INTO THE DAY CARE! THE DAY CARE! IT DOESN’T SEEM TO MATTER TO THEM THAT IT’S A RIGHT RIP OFF – THEY TAKE YOUR MONEY EVEN IF THEY DIDN’T GO UP IN LEVEL AND THEN TRY TO PALM OFF THEIR UNCOOKED BREAKFAST TO YOU! RAW EGGS ARE TERRIBLE! BUT I DIGRESS. RATHER THAN TAKE CARE OF THEIR POKÉMON THEMSELVES THEY PAY OTHERS TO DO IT FOR THEM. WHAT LAZINESS!

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Wyatt’s Ads

What, you thought stuff this bad came free? Well you were wrong! In order to afford a regular meal for Wyatt and pay some medical bills after our conspiracist attacked a school, we’re running a few ads.
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Fashion Focus

Hello and welcome to Fashion Focus, where I discuss what’s hot in fashion! Today I’ll be talking about the Shinning Beauty, Elesa! Everyone knows that not only is she the Nimbasa Gym Leader that battles in style but she is also a supermodel. It’s then not much of a surprise that she got herself a huge makeover.

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Conspiracy: The Master Ball

Uh-oh.  Once again the familiar, paranoid mumbling from the cardboard box down the street is getting louder. In order to protect the ears of innocent bystanders, we’ve promised to publish another one of her rants – but it’s not like there isn’t more where it’s coming from… It’s all very interesting in many ways, so you may want to pop over to the boards to discuss it. Just be careful not to mention the words “Master Ball” while she’s around.

THE MASTER BALL

You know how we justify the sport of catching Pokémon with a variety of nonsense like “the Pokémon I catch are my friends” and “they have choice whether they’re caught or not”? Well, that’s how it used to be, for sure. Back in the apricorn times, it was entirely up to the Pokémon’s goodwill whether they were caught or not. But then someone went and broke the system by inventing something. Something purple.

Something by the name of the Master Ball.

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Conspiracy: How We Brainwash Pokemon

Every so often, this person [pictured below] starts shouting stuff from their cardboard box down the street at people. To get them to shut up we offered to publish some of their words here. She also says she is keen to discuss more crazy ideas on our forums, but if you’re interested we advise taking earmuffs all the same.



HOW WE BRAINWASH POKEMON

Guys, Plasma were on to something, I tell you. They knew something nobody else did, about how we forced Pokemon to work for them, how we enslaved them. And you know one of the sneakiest ways we do this?

Badges.
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An Ace Trainer’s Guide to Pokemon Training: The PC and You

The resident Ace Trainer has decided to share a few of his special secrets about training in his new An Ace Trainer’s Guide to Pokemon Training! Be sure to follow and read each entry carefully to possibly become as cool* as him.
*Coolness not guaranteed.


The PC and You

One of the most important tools a trainer has at his or her disposal is the PC. The PC allows you to store and withdraw both Pokemon and items, all digitally. This is so you don’t disturb others with your massive herd of Pokemon, like me before I started using the PC. There are dozens of uses for the PC, but only the main functions will be discussed here.

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The Coffee Guy’s Rants: Too Many Pokeballs

THAT’S RIGHT, YOU HEARD ME. THERE’S TOO MANY OF THESE DARN BALLS ABOUT TODAY!

FIRSTLY, WHAT THE HECK HAS GONE WRONG WITH SOCIETY THAT YOU NEED ALL THESE KINDS OF BALLS THAT DO THE SAME DARN THING ANYWAY BUT WITH A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT COLOUR AND A FAR HIGHER PRICE TAG? WHAT’S WRONG WITH GOOD OLD RED AND WHITE? GUESS WHAT, YOU SPEAK TO ANYONE DOWN THE STREET ABOUT POKEBALLS AND THAT’S THE FIRST THING THEY’RE GOING TO THINK OF! NOT BLUE AND WHITE, OR MEW FORBID YELLOW AND BLUE! THOSE COLOURS DON’T EVEN NORMALLY MATCH! WHY NOT KEEP IT TO WHITE, EVERYTHING GOES WITH WHITE! EVEN I GO WITH WHITE! I DON’T THINK THEY EVEN KNOW WHAT COLOUR TO GO WITH ANYMORE BUT THEY JUST USE A NEW ONE TO MAKE YOU BUY IT! YOU KNOW THAT PREMIER BALL? IT’S NO DIFFERENT TO A POKEBALL; THE DARN THING JUST HAS A DIFFERENT COLOUR AND WORKS THE SAME WAY! BUT I’M SURE IT WAS MADE TO ‘COMMEMORATE AN EVENT’ – THAT EVENT BEING THE DAY SOME BIGWIG EXECUTIVE CAME UP WITH THE IDEA TO GET PEOPLE TO BUY POKEBALLS IN BULK!

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The Top 5 Worst Ideas for an OC

In the writing career of most fanfiction writers, there comes a time when you wish to write a story in which a character of your own creation appears. Some writers only work with their own characters. Some use mostly canon characters, but then add in some with their own touches. Some only use their original characters as very minor characters. Either way, most writers do end up creating a character of their own sooner or later.

As it turns out, that’s not very easy. No, seriously. You need practice in that type of thing, and not many people are willing to go through the trouble of mastering this process. Simply because you like your OC doesn’t mean it’s a good OC – it could mean that, but in many cases it also doesn’t. This is especially evident because many writers want to take shortcuts and make things easy for themselves instead of going through the effort of fleshing out their characters and making them believable.

Here are five ways to create an original character that you should use if you really don’t want people to take you or your characters seriously.

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